Wednesday, 16th September 2026  |  A PARODY PUBLICATION  |  Not affiliated with any real newspaper
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HOTTHE AFTER HOURS FORUM — true confessions from our readers18+HOTASK THE NYMPHO — our woman on campus on her weekend18+
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SIXTY TRADES A DAY: Bloomberg's review of the financial disclosures found more than 28,000 trades in the 17 months to June, against about 22,000 by all 535 members of Congress combined

Sixty trades a day from the Mango Menace. SIXTY. And he still found the breath to sneer at Nancy Pelosi about her husband's shares

  • Bloomberg's review of the disclosures: more than 28,000 trades in 17 months by the Mango Menace and his money managers
  • All 535 members of Congress managed about 22,000 between them in the same period
  • That is roughly 1,600 a month. Sixty a day. Every day. While holding down the top job on earth
Read the full story
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RANT

Diaper Don declares the danger a HOAX - and his own faithful tell him to stick the data centre in his back garden

He built the room. He decorated the room. He hand-picked everyone in the room.… Read the full story

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RANT

"Never heard of him": the Tangerine Tyrant's memory fails at the precise moment his son needs an alibi

Here is the bit that gets me. Not the oligarch. Not the island. The sentence.… Read the full story

RANT

Ten things happened before breakfast, and every single one of them ends up in the Gilded Toddler's pocket

Ten stories landed this morning and I read all of them before my coffee was cool. Here is the rant, in order.… Read the full story

AFTER HOURS
AFTER HOURS

The After Hours Forum: what our readers get up to once the lights go out

Every newspaper has a letters page. Ours simply runs later than most.… Read the full story

ASK THE NYMPHO
ASK THE NYMPHO

Ask the Nympho: 'It was reading week. I did not read.'

Right. Reading week. I had four articles to get through and a lab report due Tuesday.… Read the full story

MAN ABOUT TOWN
MAN ABOUT TOWN

Man About Town: 'You are not bad at dating, son. You are bad at listening.'

Gentlemen. Sit down. Put the phone face down on the table.… Read the full story

Tonight’s Daily Wail Girl
SASHA, 29, Brockville. Sasha says the fog off Mallorytown is nothing next to the looks she gets walking the beach in September.Generated illustration · 18+

TODAY'S ISSUE

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AFTER HOURS · 18+
True Confessions

What our readers get up to once the lights go out, in their own words. Strictly over-eighteens.

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SHORT FILM
The Keeping

A lighthouse keeper, a bell, and forty-one years of fog. Made end to end by a render farm.

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Dark Tales of Washington

The scandals the capital would rather you had forgotten. Sixteen episodes.

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The Land Beneath Us

The treaties under your feet, told plainly and without the flag-waving.

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The Rewatch

Golden Girls, episode by episode, by two people who have clearly seen it too many times.

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Pirates & Plunder

Real pirates, real plunder, considerably less rum than the films promised.

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